don’t you?
July 26, 2006Don’t You Just Hate That….
By Scott Cohen
(there are 738 in the book…
these are just a few i liked.
go buy the book for all of them!)
Tipping someone who hasn’t earned it only because you don’t want to look cheap.
Late fees for a video you didn’t have time to watch.
The second-to-last day of a two-week vacation.
When your Cracker Jack has melted into one big Jack.
Realizing after several attempts that youve been trying to insert a three-prong plus into a two-prong outlet.
Banana bruises that arent visible on the outside of the peel
People who dont remove their christmas decorations untill March
When a homely person compliements you on your looks, forcing you either to return the compliemtn insincerely or say thanks without saying anything more, thereby removing any doubt that you dont find him attractive
Accidentally setting your alarm clock for P.M instead of A.M
Wondering, based on his answers, if the person youre copying from knows less than you.
People who have no clue how loudly they talk
Being unable to twist a jar open and unwilling to let someone else give it a try
How uncomfortable white people feel when black people call each other “nigga”
When your hosts can hear your urine splashing into the toilet because the bathroom has no fan and is adjacent to the dining room.
People who keep their clock set 10 minutes fast “incase I need extra time”
White guys with a snoop dog cell phone ring
Having no clue when to use a semicolon
Rearranging heavy furniture, then realizing you liked it better before
People who are not your relatives who send photos of their child at three months, six months, nine months…
Realizing you were wearing the same outfit the last time you hung out with this person
When the teacher erases the entire blackboard but misses one prominent chalk mark
Recieving a birthday card 8 days before your birthday
Dear Mom,
I really hate camp.I have no friends,and everyone teases me
because I cant swim. I want to come home.
-Dylan
When you sign the back of your credit card and it doesnt look like your signature.
Bitting your cheek on the swollen area where youve previously bitten it.
When the waiter asks “is everything alright here?” right after youve taken a big bite out of your sandwhich, causing you to grunt your response
Not liking the gift you pulled out of the grab bag as much as the one you put into it.
When you hold the ketchup bottle over your french fries and the first thing that comes out is red water
People who are afraid to step on an escalator… missed it…how bout this one…no, not that one…wait, not that one
either,… that one —no, not that one!
People who point at their wrists while asking for the time
When youre paying for something at a store and they ask you what Zip Code you live in
When the driver pushes the unlock button, but you pull the handle at the same moment and remain locked out
the momentary frenzy that ensues the instant that a cashier calls out “this register is now open”
TABLE 5:
Hank&Eve
Jeffery&JOhanna
Lenny&Tamara
Johnathan&Kathy
Robin
When the brief thrill of making the yellow light ends and youre bored again
Remembering enough french from high school to know that two frenchman sitting next to you are talking about you, but not knowing enough french to understand what theyre saying
Being the last person on a long line that no one else seems to be getting on
When a stranger asks you for the time, and your fear that you wont
be able to answer in an appropriate time span cause you to blurt out
“9:17.NO,10:17! NO!!! 9:17!
Wondering if the appetizer youre sharing with a friend is being divided evenly.
Walking by the same person youve already walked by in the dairy, produce, and frozen food sections
Watching a movie with your parents that shows full frontal nudity
An open parenthesis that is never closed (like this
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